Embarking on this project has made me look closer at what most people would rather look away from. A lot of my thoughts on violence have been influenced by my work with the SFU Women’s Centre and the study of feminist works. As a result, I see this topic through a particular lens which may not necessarily be shared among my readers. As women are generally physically smaller than men and we live in a patriarchal society that glorifies violence (movies, music, etc.), women bear the brunt of violent behaviors. Since women are also the primary caregivers for children, the children of victims of violence lose their innocence and become victims as well.
For these reasons, I will be concentrating on violence with respects to gender in this blog. Women are disproportionately affected and I think that this is a cruel injustice to over half of our society members. Targeted gendered violence also affects those not included in this group. The fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, husbands and sons of women who have experienced violence are affected as well. Many women who have been assaulted are more hesitant about forming close relationships with men. For my heterosexual male readers, if you meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with but she has experienced sexual violence in the past, how do you gain her trust?
Taking a look at how our society views gender may unlock a part of why violence against women still exists. You are probably aware that in North American society, gender is a very big deal. On government forms and the like, you generally have to tick a box for your gender. Male or female, but no other. We are uncomfortable with anything that implies we are not what we were physically born with. As a society, we impose strict, unwritten rules about how one is supposed to behave according to what our doctors write on a form at our birth. Break those rules, and you’re on your own.
If you are male and you act in ways that society deems to be “feminine”, you are a “fag”, a “sissy”, a “mama’s boy” or worse. You may be assaulted and/or ostracized. If you are female and you act in ways that society deems to be “masculine”, then you are a “dyke”, “butch” or at best, a “tomboy”. Unfortunately, our society seems to be more comfortable with a woman who is more masculine than with a man who is more feminine, as defined by our unwritten rules.
Music and movies reinforce these notions to the extreme. To make very general simplifications, according to mainstream media, you are not a man until you rescue a woman and shoot the crap out of your enemies. You are also not a man unless you’ve got “your woman” listening to you and obeying your demands. As for women, you are not a woman unless you are beautiful and helpless. Given that we are influenced by sources that (are reflections of society values and) glorify violence and gender roles, is it any wonder that violence against women still exists?
I am personally invested in trying to find a solution for this social problem as I do not want to become one of over 1/3 of Canadian women who have suffered abuse. I do not want my sisters, mother, aunts, girlfriends, coworkers and classmates to ever add to this statistic. Similarly, I do not want my male acquaintances to feel helpless and not know what to do because a woman in their life has been brutally assaulted. Like the stereotypical answer of beauty pageant contestants, I want world peace. However, I think that before we look at the rest of the world, we need to look at what’s going on in our own backyard and attack a problem that is less visible than drug abuse or homelessness.
