Posts Tagged domestic violence

Shelters or No Shelters?

June 14, 2009 at 10:30 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , ,

There has been some debate over whether shelters help solve the problem of domestic violence. After some searching, I came across the Volunteers of Ameria, Oregon (VOAOR) branch. Their Home Free program provides “long-term post-crisis support” to prevent victims from going back to an abusive household. They had an innovative approach to the problem of barriers to accessing support — they made their services mobile.

What caught my attention was a powerpoint presentation listed on the National Alliance to End Homelessness (NAEH) website. The NAEH’s goal is pretty self-explanatory. The VOAOR Home Free’s presentation at the 2006 NAEH conference had the following main points:

  • Home Free’s new model is not a miracle solution
  • The mobility of advocates dramatically increased the number of abuse victims they could serve
  • Motel vouchers worked in addition to or instead of “shelters”
  • “The cost of 2 shelter nights for a family of four is equivalent to a month’s rent for the same family.”
  • Closing their shelter and expanding “housing-focused services”, motel vouchers and “mobile advocacy” improved response to “under-served needs of survivors”
  • They have increased the number of housing options for survivors turned away from shelters
  • This new model takes away economic barriers that lead victims back to their abusers

Their challenges are here, as seen on the original slide:

Challenges - VOAOR Home Free at NAEH Annual Conference 2006

I think it is very interesting that they have closed their shelter and found that alternative housing options worked better for their clients. Their statements that communities understand the concept of shelters and that staff were skeptical seem to have foretold the debates in the comments section in my earlier post, Kids and Domestic/Relationship Violence.

I think we are so used to the ideas of shelters (and transition homes) that we have not really looked at other housing options that would separate abuse survivors and their abusers. Closing their shelter and increasing their other services were very brave moves for VOAOR.

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Change + Power and Control

June 13, 2009 at 9:58 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , , , , ,

I had a conversation with a friend and colleague who had recently left an abusive situation. We talked about what we could do to bring an end to domestic violence and what changes we needed to make as a society. She believes that in order to enact real and lasting change, the first step we need to take is to increase awareness of this issue. This revelation was the result of encounters with people who think that domestic violence no longer exists.

She then told me about the The Power and Control Wheel that detailed the methods that male abusers use to dominate their female partners. When I came home tonight, the first thing I did was to search for this wheel. I found it on the Government of Newfoundland and Labrador’s Violence Prevention Initiative website.

Wheel of Power and Control

The corresponding equality wheel found on the same site showed what healthy relationships based of equality and fairness should look like.

Equality Wheel
I told her about my tentative idea of lesson plans regarding healthy relationships, etc. and asked for her opinion. She said that she thought it was a good idea and that lasting change will take several generations. The way forward would be to educate children and show them what a healthy relationship should look like. She suggested that lesson plans based on this idea could be part of health or sex-ed classes.

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Education Partnership with Community Police

June 13, 2009 at 1:50 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

I have been thinking more about the education angle – - giving younger teens the tools for establishing healthy relationships and empower younger children (and teens) if  domestic violence (which is sometimes linked with child abuse) is present in their homes.

Younger children seem to enjoy classrooms visits by police officers in uniform — I remember the excitement we would share just before such visits. These are even better if the officers bring along a member of the K9 unit (or Constable Chip the Chipmunk, as seen below). Perhaps, as is sometimes done with say-no-to-drug programs, we would be able to team up with community police stations and help address the issue of domestic violence together, head on.

top-constable_chip

Some of these lessons could include what to do if you (the kid) or a friend are in a dangerous situation at home, where domestic violence could easily become child abuse. How you would be able to help the parent being abused as well as yourself and your siblings. How to get out safely and where/who to call.  These questions and others would have to be addressed in a way that won’t scare the kids and be useful at the same time. It would give them resources and help them understand that it is NOT their fault.

The challenges are, again, both police officers and teachers are overworked. If this program is installed, we would need to make sure (as far as we are able to) that it will be effective and worth their while.  We would be able to evaluate the success of such a program by taking note of how many “new” incidents of domestic violence or child abuse are reported.

These are crimes that are often under-reported, and if there appears to be a surge of violence in a community, it is not because the adult perpetrators suddenly went on a rampage.  A noted increase in reports would potentially be a result of a successful program.  It would mean that the students understand that something is wrong, they now have the tools to deal with violent situations, and they trust an adult in the community to help them.

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Domestic Violence Awareness in South Asian Communities

June 12, 2009 at 12:32 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

Abuse in immigrant families tends to not be talked about. Women in abusive situations tend not to go to the police. There is a language and cultural barrier. Victims do not know where to go. Sometimes, victims distrust authorities and the police, a feeling that originates from observations of abuse of power in their countries of origin.

In 2006, there were at least 3 high profile domestic violence cases in the Greater Vancouver area. “Gurjeet Ghuman was shot in the face by her estranged husband and left blind; married mother Navreet Kaur Waraich was stabbed to death; and the burned body of Manjit Panghali, also a married mom, was found along a Delta highway.”

In 2007, “Surrey mother Amanpreet Kaur Bahia was stabbed to death in her home and on the weekend, Vancouver resident Avtar Singh Grewal was charged with killing his wife Navneet Kaur in Phoenix.”

Domestic violence is not limited to that perpetuated against adult partners. Earlier this year, a father plead guilty to stabbing and beheading his 2.5 year old daughter. Apparently, he was depressed about losing his job and “that he had 3 daughters, but no son”.

The women of the South Asian community are speaking out and raising awareness about an issue that has been hidden for too long. I think this process is really innovative because among immigrant families, coming out and talking about violence is considered shameful. There’s a feeling of “you don’t air our dirty laundry in front of strangers”.

Last November, Langara College held a forum called “South Asian Women on Violence: Resisting & Speaking Out” designed to highlight domestic violence and think of ways to combat this problem. There have been other initiatives since, including rallies spearheaded by “South Asian Women Against Male Violence” group and the International Women’s Day event held at SFU by the “South Asian Family Association”.

I think it’s incredibly brave of these women to come out and talk about their experiences along with rallying others to support their cause. I also think that, with time, they have the potential to successfully change how domestic violence is viewed within the community. It’s one thing for strangers outside the community to come in and “lecture” and quite another for members of the community to say, “Enough. We need change.”

Other communities need to take their lead and do the same.

JAI Karauli in Rajasthan - busy street scene with women in colourful indian dress 3008x2000

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“Why don’t they just leave?”

June 12, 2009 at 11:54 am · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged ,

I’ve been asked why victims stay in violent relationships. I’ve been asked, “If it’s so bad, why don’t they just leave?” The simple answer to that question is that, as with any issue concerning human relationships, it’s complicated.

Some of my readers will remember in previous posts that there is often psychological and emotional abuse in these relationships. You can be worn down to the point where you believe that you have little value.

Financial abuse can play a role too. If you don’t have the funds to do so, how can you leave and not worry about food and shelter? In relationships where there are children present, how do you leave knowing that your child will be cold and hungry? Also, you may feel compelled to tough it out “for the children”.

Fear: You may be scared.  If you leave, will your partner hunt you down and kill you like promised? You may still love your partner and can’t “live without him/her”.

These aspects of why victims stay in volent relationships are closely intertwined with the insidious Cycle of Abuse.

Cycle of violence

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Kids and Domestic/Relationship Violence

June 11, 2009 at 3:41 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , ,

I have been thinking about this idea for the last week or so. I’m not sure if it would work, but it seems to me that we need to give our kids the right tools for life. For example, in the later grades in elementary school or in junior high, there could be lesson plans designed to address relationship violence. The questions of how to deal with it, where to go, how to help a friend who is in a dangerous situation, etc., could be discussed.

The one memory that particularly sticks in my mind was when I was 16. It was my first relationship and I was completely over the moon. I also didn’t know how to deal with it and my boyfriend’s extremely short temper was starting to worry me. I tried to be a “better” girlfriend but it did not work. Looking back, I feel foolish, but at the time, I really did not know what to do.

Lessons could also be designed for children in the younger grades on anti-violence along with anti-bullying in general. Anti-bullying programs have been started in many schools in the Lower Mainland and in schools around the world. As was pointed out in a previous post, domestic violence affects children and we may not necessarily know which child in any given classroom has to go home to fear and pain.

By giving children the tools (in an age-appropriate way, of course), we would be able to help them and hopefully help their families. Children take their cues from the adults in their lives and may not necessarily know what is hurtful and wrong.

Naturally, there are some concerns with this potential innovation. Teachers are already over-worked — they may not have time to administer these lessons. Also, how do we teach children about this topic without scaring them? Would we have to ask parents to sign consent forms for this program? If we do, the program would not be able to reach the children who need it the most. For example, anti-homophobia programs have met with resistance in schools and the children who would most benefit from these lessons are not getting them.

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Law changes: steps in the right direction

June 8, 2009 at 11:29 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

Over the last few days, there have been (at least) 4 stories online about changes to domestic violence laws in 2 different American cities and 2 different American states.

This is especially timely as the recession has increased tensions at home and is now blamed for indirectly increasing the number of abuse victims.  According to the Boston Globe, Rhode Island alone has seen an increase of “25% in felony-level domestic violence crimes“.

Memphis, Oklahoma City, the states of Massachusetts and Mississippi are in the process of changing their laws to make it easier to prosecute abusers.

  • Memphis:  About 55% of violent crimes, including 15% of homicides are related to domestic violence.  Memphis is setting up a special Domestic Violence Court and is in the midst of setting up the Family Safety Center, designed to be “a concentrated safety net of services for women who want to escape their abusive situations”.
  • Oklahoma City:  The legal changes would make “a first offense of domestic abuse a felony when a “prior pattern of conduct” could be established”.
  • Massachusetts:  The Act to Protect and Enhance the Rights of Victims and Witnesses of Crime, “a bill to provide added protection to victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse[,] has been filed”.   This bill is designed to increase victim rights and plug the holes that exist in previous legislature.
  • Mississippi:  The new changes are proposed to help make legal processes easier for victims to access and have cases of domestic violence progress more smoothly through the court system.

    These changes in the law are steps in the right direction.  However, trying to use a court order to fight off an abuser may not necessarily work.  There have been cases in the past of women who have obtained restraining orders, only to find that their abuser did not follow the rules set down in court.  There is also the concern that women who live in rural areas will not have access to legal and other services that can literally be the difference between life and death.

    Even in an ideal situation, I do not know how effective these new changes will be.  I think that we, as a society (in North America) need to alter our attitudes about domestic violence before real change can occur.  At the moment, it still seems like it’s “none of our business” what people do in their private lives — even if the result is a bruised and bloody domestic partner.

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    No Private Matter! Continued…

    June 7, 2009 at 9:43 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , ,

    As promised, soundbites from the No Private Matter! contest:

    Action India – Women, Law and Social Change
    About the organization: Based in New Delhi, India, Action India has been making safe places in impoverished communities for women to gather.

    The innovation: The Mahila Panchayat network system was designed to allow women to seek redress to grievances.  It has “mobilized women and community leaders to change their subordinate position in the family and move towards building more equal partnerships.” This system is highly effective as it involves the community and social pressure results in the resolution of conflicts between men and women.

    My thoughts: In a society highly concentrated on communities, this is an awesome innovation.  Men and women can work together to make things better and women won’t be ignored in a highly patriarchial society because “everyone will be watching”.

    Men for Gender Equality Now – Kenyan Men Betray Archaic Patriarchy
    About the organization: They (MEGEN) are a “Kenyan network of men working to end gender based violence and the spread of HIV/AIDS through prevention, service provision to the victims and awareness creation focusing on the role of men as agents of change.”

    The innovation: Survivor support activities -

    • MEGEN goes to homes of victims of gender-based violence
    • The victim is retrieved from the place of assault and the crime is reported to police
    • Referrals are made for “medical, legal, psychological assistance” and for a safe shelter in extreme cases

    Awareness campaigns -

    • activism (Men’s Traveling Conference)
    • delivery of “education, awareness, research and network building components in all the communities reached”

    My thoughts: Whenever the subject of gender-based violence is brought up, and the violence is perpetrated by men against women, it is very effective to have men start a peaceful conversation with other men.  Unfortunately, men sometimes think that women are not the most credible sources of information about this topic…and that women nag….

    Men Can Stop Rape (USA)
    About the organization: Men Can Stop Rape is “a national leader on engaging young men in gender violence prevention.”.  This organization reaches out to youths in Boys’ and Girls’ clubs and educational institutions, among others.

    The innovation:

    • “Mobilize male youth to prevent men’s violence against women”
    • “Inspire them to create their own positive definitions of masculinity, manhood, and strength; develop healthy relationships with others; embrace the concept of personal responsibility; work in partnership with female peers; and do their part to end violence and build safe communities”
    • “Redefine masculinity is unique – focus on defining and asserting positive masculinity for young men”

    My thoughts: As I mentioned for MEGEN, having men talk to other men can be really effective.  Even better if we start the conversation with young males who are constantly inundated with societal notions of what it means to “be a man”.

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    No Private Matter! Innovation competition 2007

    June 6, 2009 at 12:21 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged ,

    I just found out that in 2007, there was a New Competition to Showcase World’s Most Innovative Domestic Violence Prevention Programs called “No Private Matter!“.  This competition was designed to get entrepreneurs to think of innovative ways to solve this social problem.  Sound familiar?  =D

    The competition was sponsored by Robert Wood Johnson Foundation (RWJF) and hosted by Changemakers.net.  Entries from around the world were submitted and out of 12 finalists, 3 will be awarded $5000.  In the end, the 3 winning ideas were presented by “Action India” (India), “Men for Gender Equality Now” (Kenya), and “Men Can Stop Rape” (USA).

    I think it’s really great that so many different organizations and individuals contributed to this competition and discussed how to end a very painful social problem.  I was also delighted to see that some of those organizations were developed to help men help women overcome domestic violence.  The winning innovative ideas are listed in the links, but I will be giving a more concise summary in another post.

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    周杰倫: 爸,我回来了

    May 31, 2009 at 12:13 am · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , , , , ,

    I wanted to use more media depictions of violence to add interest to the blog and not have it be just about studies and research groups. I am hoping that by doing this, the conversation gets opened up a bit more and individuals who may not feel comfortable discussing the topic of violence against women can still feel a sense of connection.

    ******

    Jay Chou (周杰倫) is a Taiwanese singer, composer, actor, director, and lots of other things…. His song, “爸，我回来了” which means “Dad, I’m back/home” is a particularly interesting song in that it is the first Chinese song to touch on the taboo (in Chinese culture) topic of domestic violence. The song is sung in both Mandarin and Hokkien. Looking at the YouTube comments, it looks like his song has touched the hearts of his listeners who grew up in homes with domestic violence.

    His lyrics express the song’s protagonist’s helplessness as a child (even now that he’s presumably an adult) whose father repeatedly hits his mother. The song also touches on ideas of filial piety, a distinctly Confucius Chinese concept, where it is expected that a child would respect and obey his or her parents. In the lyrics, Chou asks, “Mom always said to be good, listen to your dad.  You tell me, how can I be like you?“

    As I watched the video, I realized that while concentrating on violence against women in North America, I had forgotten one essential part. The residents of North America have different backgrounds and come from different cultures. By talking about violence against “all” women, I have not sufficiently addressed these differences.

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