Posts Tagged abuse

“Why don’t they just leave?”

June 12, 2009 at 11:54 am · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged ,

I’ve been asked why victims stay in violent relationships. I’ve been asked, “If it’s so bad, why don’t they just leave?” The simple answer to that question is that, as with any issue concerning human relationships, it’s complicated.

Some of my readers will remember in previous posts that there is often psychological and emotional abuse in these relationships. You can be worn down to the point where you believe that you have little value.

Financial abuse can play a role too. If you don’t have the funds to do so, how can you leave and not worry about food and shelter? In relationships where there are children present, how do you leave knowing that your child will be cold and hungry? Also, you may feel compelled to tough it out “for the children”.

Fear: You may be scared.  If you leave, will your partner hunt you down and kill you like promised? You may still love your partner and can’t “live without him/her”.

These aspects of why victims stay in volent relationships are closely intertwined with the insidious Cycle of Abuse.

Cycle of violence

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Numbers

May 23, 2009 at 10:16 pm · Filed under Uncategorized ·Tagged , , , ,

According to Statistics Canada’s “Measuring Violence Against Women: Statistical Trends 2006″ report (all numbers relate to Canadian men and women)…

39% of women have been sexually assaulted
654 000 women experienced spousal violence incidents
16% of women who were victimized were sexually assaulted
2 times as many women (compared to men) were beaten by their partners and reported “chronic, ongoing assaults”
4 times as many women (compared to men) were choked

2.5 times as many women (compared to men) have reported “the most serious forms of violence, such as being beaten, choked, threatened with a gun or knife, and sexually assaulted”
72.6 of women are killed by their spouse on average, per year
11% of women have been stalked
80% of female stalking victims are stalked by men
21% of female victims stalked by current/former partners

16% of women uneasy about walking alone late at night
27% of women feel unsafe alone at home at night
258 000 children knew about domestic abuse against their mothers (estimated over 5 year period)
68% of single mothers experienced domestic abuse
$15 billion: economic cost of violence against women (1998 year)

86% of sexual assaults in 2004 happened to women
34% of spousal homicides had female victims
21% of female victims of abuse were assaulted while pregnant
543 shelters for women exist in Canada
200 women are turned away from shelters on an average day

171 women working in the sex trade were murdered between 1991-2004
205 “treatment programs for violent men” existed in 2004
606 victim services center existed in 2004

Note: According to a 2004 survey, only 8% of sexual assaults are reported to police.

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