It’s stupid, really, but this past week, I realized that time hasn’t stood still.
Shocker, I know.
It started when my partner told me that his sister just got engaged. She’s a wonderful person and I’m really happy for her, but I was thinking…wait, why are people getting married? Didn’t we leave school not too long ago? She’s also two years younger than me, so if she’s old enough to get married, does that make me really old?
I put that thought out of my head and went on with things, as usual. Then I found an old friend via Facebook….who is now engaged to her partner. “That’s cool,” I thought. But wait…we met our respective partners at around the same time. Wait….how long has it been? Oh my. A little over 5.5 years. Okay… I chalked it up to the fact that she was a year or two older.
Then temptation hit.
I clicked on the “People you may know” option. I found some old friends from high school so I went on an adding binge. I also Facebook-creeped some of my former classmates. It’s not quite the thing, I know, but I couldn’t help it. I needed to know, like a drug user needs his/her fix, if it was just these two couples I knew or if this whole marriage thing was a trend.
There were a surprising number of former classmates who used pictures from their wedding as their profile pictures. Then I started seeing kids. Babies and toddlers. Naively, I thought, “That’s sweet, s/he’s posing with her/his nephew/niece.” This lasted until I kept seeing the same kid, along with family pictures.
At this point, I’m having a heart attack and then I realized that this year, I’ll be turning 25. That’s a quarter of a century.
Obviously, I’m not as old as the oldest person on this planet nor am I as young as the youngest person. I’m also not generally hung up on age. What I found the most shocking was that I hadn’t paid much attention to the passing of time. I value time and make “to do” lists every day (I’m just that cool), but I hadn’t really thought about how days become weeks which then become months and years.
I hadn’t really thought about it, but when I did, I realized that I had:
a) finished university
b) found a job afterward…in a foreign country
c) signed a lease for my own apartment
d) bought my own source of transportation
e) bought some pets (which are not yet dead from neglect)
f) been in a stable relationship for a decent amount of time
g) a number of friends already married or getting married
h) a number of friends with kids
By most metrics, that makes me an adult. One doesn’t need all or any of those points to be an adult, but if one is keeping score, I’d probably fall into the “adult” category. (Which is something I still think is really strange.)
I know the grammarians among us are reeling as they get to this sentence, but I’m just so shocked, it’s all coming out, stream-of-consciousness-like. Maybe later, when I feel more normal, I’ll come back and edit. Or maybe I’ll just pretend this post has fallen into a deep dark hole.
Oh, and by the way, I’m going to take up the WordPress Blog a Week 2011 challenge. It’s cheaper than getting a therapist.
tick, tock...tick, tock...
2blu2btru said
LOL…this is so funny, but only because it’s true. I am turning 26 next month, and I have been through the marriage/kids takeover that happens to your friends. I am not married and have no kids, and I eat pizza too often to be a real adult! Just wait until you reach that point when people who started dating years after you start getting married, and everyone starts looking at you crazy…that’s when the fun begins!
Ms. Beaker said
What are you talking about? Pizza is the 6th food group. Yeah, it’s weird, and I’m sure it’ll get weirder if I don’t follow the socially accepted route in the “right” time-frame. What do you think about people who get divorced before you even think about getting married?
2blu2btru said
I haven’t experienced that one too much yet, but I do have a couple women friends who are divorced. I find whether married or divorced, or have kids, they all tend to feel as if they “know better” than I do what I should want or should be doing. That irks me greatly. I appreciate your experience is different than mine, but don’t pressure me or rain on my parade! Someone recently told me about being together for eight years before marriage and all of her friends were married before her. She said that of her four best friends, only one couple is still HAPPILY married, and only two are still married, so I try to keep it in perspective. I hate to say it, but all of those couples won’t make it. I try to focus on making the right, long-lasting decision.
Ms. Beaker said
The divorces must have been a really challenging experience for your friend. The best of friends support each other through this kind of thing, and I imagine that it would have taken an emotional toll on her.
As for parades being rained on, I know the feeling. I keep getting asked when I’m getting married. The answer I give everyone is, “I really don’t know.” Recently, my teenage students have become fascinated with this question and my answer. The next question tends to be “When are you having children?” It’s been a great conversation starter, though, so they get to practice their English. Can’t complain with the end result.